The wife's workplace held their Christmas party at a nearby bowling alley on Saturday night. I haven't been bowling for years but I tried it recently on the Nintendo Wii where I found my carefully aimed throws were all curling to the left and only knocking down the pin(s) on the end. A fault with my Wii controller – or so I thought until I tried it for real on Saturday...

... and thoroughly embarrassed myself as shot after shot struck the single pin on the left end. What's worse is that the wife broke a nail on her first throw leaving her with a bleeding thumb. She switched to her left hand which she has never used for bowling before and still managed to thrash me! What a flippin' smartarse!

The smartass wife bowling

Afterwards a couple of us tried a spot of lasertag in the Quasar arena. Now that's something I was once pretty good at – back in 1994. For some reason everyone else in the arena were wearing togas (weird place for a toga party), so there was a surreal scene of what looked like ancient Greeks running around with laser guns but they seemed like a good crowd so I was happy to jump in and start shooting 'em.

I never was one for sneaky tactics – run into a crowd of the buggers with guns blazing I say. It usually ends up with me taking out one or two leaving me surrounded and thoroughly machine gunned by the other six of them. I'd be shit in a real war. It was jolly good fun though and besides getting a stitch I came out of it covered in sweat with bleeding elbows and with my ace Casio watch scratched up something rotten. That possibly indicates I took my short lived military career a little too seriously as I had been gamboling and jumping around the arena – certainly the people in togas didn't seem to come out of it looking as battered.

Anyway, my team won – so the sacrifice was probably worth it and I can give myself a posthumous pat on the back.

Next Christmas party is on the 17th and involves beer and curry with the lads which should involve fewer injuries - unless Sanjay the stingy contractor decides to get drunk and punchy....